www.NicolaBattista.it © ® ♪

Negli anni ’90 circolava una immagine (apparsa su siti web come su pubblicazioni discografiche o librarie) descritta come la “foto” di Luther Blissett, personaggio mediatico tanto multiplo quanto inesistente (a meno che non crediate nell’esistenza dell’omonimo giocatore del Milan, ma questa è un’altra storia).

La foto di Luther (riportata qui sotto) secondo la leggenda è in realtà un collage di vecchie foto anni ’40 o qualcosa del genere.

In effetti, la versione ufficiale presente sul sito della Wu Ming Foundation recita:

Il ritratto “ufficiale” di Luther Blissett è realizzato da Andrea Alberti e Edi Bianco nel 1994, miscelando vecchie foto degli anni Trenta e Quaranta (tre prozii e una prozia di Wu Ming 1).

Possiamo però oggi dire che, grazie all’apporto dell’inquietante “Archivio Giulio Andreotti” presente sul sito dell’Istituto Don Sturzo, è finalmente svelata la vera identità di Luther.

Un po’ come per tutti i misteri d’Italia, era evidentemente Andreotti.

Pensiero random della giornata: magari sarà anche la crisi, ma vedere l’Ikea semideserta (mi è capitato oggi pomeriggio) mi fa pensare che la gente ritenga che il cavallo misto a batteri fecali sia presente anche nel truciolato delle strutture armadio Pax.

Sono apparsi negli ultimi giorni due siti (www.deputati5stelle.it e www.senatori5stelle.it e le analoghe versioni .com) che cercano di convincere senatori e deputati a “sganciarsi” dal loro leader garantendosi l’indipendenza. Recita il testo presente su entrambi i siti: “Questa iniziativa propone ai senatori e deputati eletti di Liberare il MoVimento 5 Stelle dal controllo esercitato da Grillo e Casaleggio, per creare una identità politica realmente indipendente: ”I cittadini del MoVimento 5 Stelle!”.

In un tweet apparso su twitter.com/libera5stelle gli autori dichiarano: “Siamo contro ogni spaccatura del #M5S, amiamo Beppe Grillo ma non sopportiamo l’arricchimento della Casaleggio Associati SRL”.

Chi c’è dietro?

Grazie ai nostri potenti mezzi (ossia una ricerca WHOIS nel database di www.nic.it) siamo in grado di svelare l’arcano.

(er, no, neppure cercando su Netsol.com i relativi domini “americani” si ottiene molto di più: sono stati registrati tramite un proxy per mantenere l’anonimato:

Contact Privacy Inc. Customer 0133708136
96 Mowat Ave
Toronto, ON M6K 3M1
CA

Come potete vedere, è tutta colpa di Pinco Pallino.

C’era bisogno di un po’ di sano giornalismo investigativo, no?

Sciopero Generale / General Strike
14.11.2012
photo: Copyright 2012 Anna Battista

I seriously hope that once you all realize that the World is not going to end in December 2012, you all stop wearing skull-bling, skulls on your shirt, jeans, skirt, shoes, hat, bra, panties, iPhone, iPad, Samsung Galaxy, bracelets, headphones, cats, dogs, cars and toilet paper rolls.

I also seriously hope Bruce Sterling will stop taking and posting pictures of badly printed chinese clothes with rainbow-colored skulls and try to define those as “new aesthetic“.

Thanks everyone.

DjB.

I am not fond of Italy’s former royal family, but this is for all those so called hipsters who think their moustache is so cool and fashionable.

You look like a very unfashionable guy who was born in 1844 and was eliminated by an anarchist in 1900.
It’s almost 2013 here.

Il pittoresco frammento qui riprodotto è un estratto di un’autentica lettera che il sottoscritto ha ricevuto dall’INPS.

Per la cronaca, si sarebbe dovuto trattare (pare) di “settimane” ma a parte gli altri diciassette tra errori di battitura e/o caratteri a caso (lettere accentate sballate, punti interrogativi, aprostrofi ecc.) che rendevano la missiva quasi illeggibile, questa perla – il fantomatico requisito di 780 anni (!) di contributi – dà l’idea del degrado presente in quelli che dovrebbero essere i servizi di base ai cittadini del nostro paese.

Fa il paio con gli inaccettabili “disservizi” (io li chiamerei “sabotaggi” ad arte, possibilmente per favorire qualcuno come banche e servizi di spedizione privati) che la rete informatica delle Poste Italiane subisce ormai da giugno 2011.

Continuiamo così, dopotutto tra poco occorreranno davvero 780 anni di contribuzione, per potersi finalmente collocare a riposo.

Surreal note on the back cover of “Summer Sundae Festival” (cd-r, MS Productions):
“The copyright in the recording is owned by anybody out there. Made somewhere in some place. Probably this cd-audio arrived to your hands magically. It’s a mystery… just enjoy.”

This is not a proper chat log, but a message that my friend Lady Wallace (IMVU: LadyWallace) got in her IMVU mailbox.

She entered a room and without a reason was kicked out twice by a person she didn’t know and who was apparently a friend of an IMVU staffer.

The person (avatar name: LeCorpse) who kicked her seemed vaguely envious of her status as a popular music artist in the virtual world, so he kindly emailed her the following love letter (courtesy LadyWallace):

yes. wallace, you are right.. Thank you for showing me the way.. and for allowing me the privilege of seeing exactly how BUTT HURT someone can get when they realize that just because they are friends with people who have more power than them, that doesn’t mean they can ride their coat tails to get what they want ;) get over yourself girl. you aren’t hot shit. you are nothing. you have always been nothing
since I first ever met you and with your “better than thou” attitude, you will always be nothing. nothing more than a little cling on who has to throw big names around to other people, just so she can feel special, feared, appreciated, for having just KNOWN these people. I am curious.. Do you take time to get to know these Dev’s and staff? or do you just befriend them to get ahead on IMVU? I’m guessing you’re so pathetic and unloved RL, that the only way you can get love is by throwing on a mask, and allowing other people to see you for what you aren’t I have no use for your kind.. go rampage elsewhere.

Love is in the air, huh?

It has to be noted that the person this gentleman (?) is referring to, is in her own words “doing very well for myself; I have a 100 acre country estate and 7 cars and unlike him, my entire existence does NOT revolve around IMVU. And the reason for my friendship/liasons with staffers and top developers is purely to promote my music.”

Lady Wallace is a UK based artist who topped the IMVU Music Store charts between 2008 and 2009 and since then remained popular in the virtual world and outside, releasing a digital single and video (Lady Wallace Sings) and later an 8-tracks EP (Music to Watch Avatars By).

(Note: The guy was obviously reported) ;)

Guest_iiayookandieeii has joined the chat
Guest_iiayookandieeii: AAAAAAAH
djbatmanRuizN: hi?
Guest_iiayookandieeii: hi bye
djbatmanRuizN: lol
Guest_iiayookandieeii has left the chat

(note: my avatar was dressed in a Batman costume and didn’t say or do anything in particular to scare this person)

djbatmanRuizN: has joined the chat
Ch1st0pher: hey
Ch1st0pher: wanna make a deal
djbatmanRuizN: hello
djbatmanRuizN: who are you
djbatmanRuizN: and what kind of deal?
Ch1st0pher: I make you famouse and i get paid (credits)
Ch1st0pher: you in
Ch1st0pher: HELLO
djbatmanRuizN: ?
djbatmanRuizN: uhm.
djbatmanRuizN: sorry
Ch1st0pher: you in
djbatmanRuizN: how could you make me “famous” and for what.
djbatmanRuizN: how can I say yes, I have no idea who are you and what the hell are you referring to.
djbatmanRuizN: :)
Ch1st0pher: your a Dj my uncle owns youtube so i cna post one of you mixes and my uncle takes care of every thing
djbatmanRuizN: HELLO
djbatmanRuizN: your uncle owns youtube. wow
Ch1st0pher: yes he does
djbatmanRuizN: you’re Mr.John Google’s nephew?
Ch1st0pher: yes
djbatmanRuizN: and your uncle takes care of what?
djbatmanRuizN : in which way.
djbatmanRuizN: details please, I may be interested (I have music in YouTube).
Ch1st0pher: makikng your mixes a big hit
Ch1st0pher: anyone
djbatmanRuizN: yes but HOW.
djbatmanRuizN: lol
Ch1st0pher: just give me the link of one ill show it to him
Ch1st0pher Whisper: but you gotta give me credits
djbatmanRuizN: in which way.
Ch1st0pher: (15,000)
Ch1st0pher Whisper: huh
djbatmanRuizN: let me figure this correctly.
djbatmanRuizN: I show you a link.
Ch1st0pher: i give it to myu uncle
djbatmanRuizN : You show it to your uncle Mr. John Google, is this the person, right?
Ch1st0pher: he makes it a hit and you get money
djbatmanRuizN: then I send you credits?
Ch1st0pherCh1st0pher Whisper: yes
djbatmanRuizN : are you sure you’re 31 and from the US?
Ch1st0pher Whisper: well you send me the credits now when you give me the link
Ch1st0pher Whisper: yes
djbatmanRuizN: you sound more like 14 and from Philippines.
Ch1st0pher: im a mature 31 year old man
djbatmanRuizN: oh yes I send you 15000 and you make me famous.
Ch1st0pher: jsut that im in a hurry
djbatmanRuizN: and youtube is owned by Mr. John Google.
djbatmanRuizN: amazing.
Ch1st0pher: yes
djbatmanRuizN: if you’re in a hurry you better go then.
djbatmanRuizN : cya.
Ch1st0pher: no
Ch1st0pher: is that i gotta pick up a package out side
Ch1st0pher: thats all
Ch1st0pher: you cna stay
Ch1st0pher: my uncle is right next to me he said Hi,
djbatmanRuizN: hi John.
djbatmanRuizN: I’m blocking and reporting your scammer nephew john
djbatmanRuizN: you both have a nice day.
djbatmanRuizN: :)
Ch1st0pher: why
Ch1st0pher: what did we do

(Note: even before the chat was closed, user was reported and then blocked)

(real chat logged July 18, 2010 on IMVU)

Charr11 has joined the chat
djbatmanRuizN: hi?
Charr11: Hi’ There., this is a message from one of the “Affiliate of IMVU for Access Pass (AP) Procuct. For Making IMVU such a Creative,Inspiring and Fun Place to play,Learn and Interact the Reality with the help of “AP Product”. As a sign of our Appreciation to all of you. We’d like to Inform to all of our “IMVU supporter will be given 100,000 worth of Credits as Our Thankful Gift”
Charr11: do you like to claim it now sir?
djbatmanRuizN: uhm.
djbatmanRuizN: there is no such “Affiliate”.
Charr11: what do you mean?
djbatmanRuizN: though if you wanna gift me 100.000 or more you’re welcome.
djbatmanRuizN: also it’s spelled “Product”
djbatmanRuizN: :)
Charr11: its not easy for me to gift you 100,000 Cr
djbatmanRuizN: then why did you say what you just said.
djbatmanRuizN: How are things in China, by the way?
Charr11: im not from china
Charr11: im from philippine
djbatmanRuizN: good. Spelling mistakes sounded very Asian style anyway. Not UK as you claim in your profile.
Charr11: yeah
djbatmanRuizN: So what is your offer, young male scammer in a female avatar?
djbatmanRuizN: :)
Charr11: huh?
Charr11: im not male
djbatmanRuizN: you have 5 seconds to tell me what was the message at the beginning of your stupid chat request.
djbatmanRuizN: 100000 credits. Bah.
djbatmanRuizN: 4
djbatmanRuizN: 3
djbatmanRuizN: 2
djbatmanRuizN: 1
djbatmanRuizN: hmmm.
Charr11: then?
djbatmanRuizN: it’s a timeout.
Charr11: so?
djbatmanRuizN: so?
djbatmanRuizN: it’s me asking “so?” here
djbatmanRuizN: not you
djbatmanRuizN: you haven’t explained what you have to offer.
djbatmanRuizN: learn English before talking shit to other people in here
Charr11 has left the chat
djbatmanRuizN: oh thanks for slapping my avatar. This will be reported.

(later, I flagged this person’s IMVU homepage, which also had badges claiming to be “Staff” and “Moderator”; unsurprisingly, the page had been flagged already).

(real chat logged July 9, 2010 on IMVU)

AdamMonsterr123 has joined the chat
AdamMonsterr123: do u hav creadits
djbatmanRuizN: yes, and why.
djbatmanRuizN: are you begging for them?
AdamMonsterr123: how many
djbatmanRuizN: not too many, about 2000 now.
djbatmanRuizN: and no, I am not gifting them to people I don’t know.
AdamMonsterr123: do u want 90 billon
djbatmanRuizN: it’s not possible having “90 billion” in here.
AdamMonsterr123: if u sav them
AdamMonsterr123: i just got on my stuff to day
djbatmanRuizN: English please
djbatmanRuizN: what do you mean.
djbatmanRuizN: trying to promote your objects?
AdamMonsterr123: i got on my account
djbatmanRuizN: you’re a new user?
AdamMonsterr123: yes
djbatmanRuizN: then how can a newbie offer me “90 billion credits”?
djbatmanRuizN: :)
djbatmanRuizN: I’d love to hear that.
AdamMonsterr123: my dad on imvu
djbatmanRuizN: your “dad” on imvu?
djbatmanRuizN: your real life dad
djbatmanRuizN: or some crap you call dad in here?
AdamMonsterr123: yes
djbatmanRuizN: he would send me those?
AdamMonsterr123: yes
djbatmanRuizN: this seems a funny conversation
djbatmanRuizN: ok, let’s see the “90 billion” then we can talk.
djbatmanRuizN: lol.
AdamMonsterr123: i need uur pw i swear to god i want do nun
djbatmanRuizN: LOL
djbatmanRuizN: kid.
djbatmanRuizN: I am 39 years old
djbatmanRuizN: have spent the last 15 years online
djbatmanRuizN: and got my first computer in 1981.
djbatmanRuizN: Do I look so dumb?
AdamMonsterr123: im 40 years old in real life
djbatmanRuizN: oh.
djbatmanRuizN: and this should convince me to give you my password?
AdamMonsterr123 has left the chat